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Fidget Spinner Neon Glow app is why we don’t deserve opposable thumbs

Fidget spinners are taking playgrounds all over the world by storm right now. Kids hanging out on street corners aren’t trading Pokemon cards or Pogs anymore… they’re instead trying desperately not to fidget.

Now someone wants to take all of the fun out of the future landfill by putting spinners on a screen and making them into a free app to download from the Google Play Store.

Fidget Spinner Neon Glow has peaked at position 29 on the Google Play Store this week – a sure sign that the fidget spinner craze is already starting to be so popular it’s uncool.

When we last checked, it was between half a million and one million downloads and it only launched a week or so ago. People are clearly liking it though as it currently has 2,000 five star reviews on the Play Store… compared to just over a thousand one star reviews. 

But that may just be accidental presses from digit-fidget-finger-fatigue.

The description for the app says, “You dream of buying a real spinner from a bearing, but there’s no money… Why spend, when you can completely set yourself a hand spiner [sic] on your phone and twist as much as you want.”

Exactly. I’m always visiting my local bearing, looking for ‘spiners‘. Why buy a fidget ‘spiner‘ when instead you can choose from one of these ten virtual ‘spiners‘, flick it and watch it rotate on your screen.

So that’s all you can do with this app, then. You can’t perform any tricks or use it to actually distract yourself – unless you’re a human moth, suicidally hypnotized by glowing objects.

Appetite for Distraction

Toilet’o’meter? 2/10, would rather play with the toilet roll spinner

Ad’o’meter? 10/10, awful adverts (which, to be fair, put more effort in than the app itself)

Who in the world would play this? The sort of person who pulls out a ‘Lighter App’ during a Bon Jovi concert

Did my phone get hacked after installing it? No… not yet, anyway

Should you download it? Hahaha, sure…

What did other people say? “Why does this man not understand the thousands of other things he could be doing with his phone?”

Appetite for Distraction is a new column where we highlight the weird and wonderful apps and games you can download to your phone or tablet. Want to submit an app? Hit James up on Twitter – @JamesRWP

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